How to Make K-pop Friends Online and in Real Life
Where K-pop fans actually meet each other: fan events, dance classes, Discord, X, and apps for fans. What works, what to say first, and how to stay safe.
If you want to know how to make K-pop friends, the short answer is this: go where fans already gather with a reason to talk, say something specific about a group or a bias, and show up to the local events those online spaces announce. K-pop is one of the easiest fandoms in the world to make friends in, because almost every part of it is collective. Comebacks, voting, concerts, cupsleeve events, album unboxings: none of it is designed to be done alone.
This guide covers the online spaces that work, the real-life events where fans meet, what to say first, and how to do all of it without feeling awkward.
Why it feels hard at first
Most fans start alone. You got into a group through a video, you learned the members, you bought an album, and at some point you realised nobody in your class or your office knows who you are talking about. That isolation is normal and it is also temporary. K-pop fans are everywhere, they are just not visible until you enter the spaces where they gather.
The second reason it feels hard is that fandom spaces look intimidating from outside. Everyone seems to know the lore, the inside jokes, the fanchants. In practice, fans are unusually welcoming to newcomers, because everyone remembers being the new one.
Online: where K-pop fans actually talk
X (Twitter) during a comeback
X is still the beating heart of K-pop fandom. Put your group and your bias in your bio, follow fan accounts for your group, and reply to threads during a comeback. Streaming parties and voting pushes are the easiest way in: people are actively looking for others to join, and a reply like "streaming from Lyon, what is everyone's favorite b-side" is a normal thing to say there.
Discord servers
Every major group has several Discord servers, and many mid-size groups have one. They are better than X for actual conversation, because they have voice channels for listening parties and regional channels where fans in the same country find each other. Search "[group name] discord" on X or Reddit, and look for servers with active moderation.
r/kpop is the general hub, and most groups have their own subreddit. Reddit is less social than Discord, but its threads on concerts and events are where you find out what is happening near you.
Apps made for fans
A group chat with thousands of people is not the same as having friends. The gap that general platforms leave is proximity: you can talk to an ARMY in Manila all day, but you cannot go to a cupsleeve event with them. This is what K-pop Dating's friends intent is for. Every profile is a photocard that shows the person's favorite group, bias, city and what they are looking for, and you browse fans sorted by distance. Pick "friends" during sign-up and it appears on your card, so nobody has to guess.
In real life: the events where fans meet
The fastest way to make a real friend is a shared event. These are the ones that exist in most large cities, and increasingly in smaller ones.
- Cupsleeve events. A fan rents a café for an afternoon to celebrate a member's birthday or a comeback. You get a themed cup sleeve with your drink, there are freebies and photo spots, and everyone there loves the same group. They are announced on X and Instagram, usually with a hashtag like "[city] cupsleeve".
- Random play dance (RPD). A public gathering, often in a park or a square, where songs play at random and whoever knows the choreography jumps in. You do not need to dance to go; watching and cheering is half the crowd.
- K-pop dance classes. Dance studios in most cities teach current choreographies. You see the same people every week, which is exactly how friendships form.
- Album listening and unboxing parties. Small, informal, often organised by a Discord server or a local fan group.
- Korean Cultural Centres. Many capitals have one, run by the Korean government, with free K-pop workshops, dance classes and screenings.
- Concerts and fan-made events. The queue before a concert is the most social place in K-pop. People trade photocards, practise fanchants and swap contacts. Our guide on finding a concert buddy covers how to arrive with someone rather than alone.
To find them, search X for your city plus "kpop event", follow a couple of local fan accounts, and check our guide to K-pop meetups near you for the full list of places to look.
What to say first
The first message is what stops most people. Here is what works, online and offline.
- Ask about their bias, not about K-pop in general. "Who is your bias in SEVENTEEN and why" gets a paragraph back. "Do you like K-pop" gets a yes.
- React to something specific. Their photocard, their lightstick, the b-side they mentioned. Specific means you actually looked.
- Share your entry point. Everyone has a first group and a story about how they fell in. Telling yours invites theirs.
- Suggest a low-stakes next step. "There is a cupsleeve event on Saturday, want to go" is easy to say yes to. "Want to be friends" is not.
One rule that holds everywhere: do not lead with a hot take. Ranking groups, dismissing a fandom or arguing about charts is how conversations end, not how they start.
Turning an acquaintance into a friend
Meeting people is the easy half. The friendships that last are the ones with a rhythm. That can be a weekly dance class, a comeback group chat that stays alive between releases, or a standing plan to go to every cupsleeve event in your city together. Suggest the rhythm early; the fan who says "let's do this again next month" is the one people remember.
It also helps to be a multi-stan, or at least an open one. If your circle only includes fans of one group, it shrinks every time that group goes on hiatus. Fans who are curious about other fandoms end up with a much larger circle.
Staying safe
Most K-pop fans are young and most spaces are friendly, but the basics still apply. Meet new people at public events or busy cafés, tell someone where you are, and do not send money or ship items to people you have only talked to online. Photocard trades with strangers should go through platforms with buyer protection. If someone pushes to move the conversation somewhere private very quickly, that is a signal, not a compliment.
A simple plan for your first month
- Week 1: put your group and bias in your bios, join one Discord server, follow three local fan accounts on X.
- Week 2: create a photocard profile with the friends intent and message two fans in your city about their bias.
- Week 3: go to one event, even alone. A cupsleeve event is the easiest first one.
- Week 4: suggest a repeat plan to whoever you clicked with.
That is genuinely all it takes. Making K-pop friends is less about luck than about being in the right places with something specific to say. The fandom is already there, waiting for you to show up.